Q: How do I deal with the fact that I keep failing in things that I want to accomplish in עבודת ה׳? I try but it doesn’t go. I feel like I just want to give up already.
A: There’s a certain Rebbe, the Breslover. So, in one of his ספרים he writes as follows. He himself writes this – about himself. He says, “When I was younger, I tried to serve Hashem. I tried, and sometimes I fell down a hundred times. And each time, I got up again and tried again.”
That was his stubbornness. He got up and he fell down. He didn’t succeed. He was נכשל. He got up again. A hundred times. “I got up,” he says. “And in the end, I remained standing.” That’s the lesson.
It’s a נסיון, a test, and you have the בחירה to pass that נסיון. You keep on trying and the end is that you will surely succeed. There’s no such thing as not succeeding. You keep on trying and הבא לטהר מסעיין לו. If you are actually coming to succeed, if you really want to succeed – that’s what הבא לטהר means – then you will remain standing in the end. The first times, the first ninety-nine times, are just a test to see if you are a weakling. That’s what they’re there for! To see if you’re a weakling or if you’re serious about it. And if you overcome the first ninety-nine times, then you’re on the way. Then you’re on the road to greatness.
TAPE # E-162 (April 1999)
Reprinted with permission from Toras Avigdor, email@example.com