I don’t know what truth is anymore? My truth, your truth or God’s truth?
There is an important Breslov teaching about making prayers from the things that we learn, these teachings must be relevant to you as an individual. A true prayer is a prayer in which you are looking for your truth, through the truth of Hashem.
In lesson 112, the Rebbe mentions that the Tzohar of truth can be either a precious stone which gives off its own light, or a window which allows light through. In Likutey Halachos, Dayanim 3, Reb Nosson explains that there is a truth which the Tzaddik himself teaches, and there is a truth which the student understands from him. They are both revealing the truth of God. Through finding yourself with the Tzaddik’s help, you will automatically find God.
When you speak to Hashem about something which you have learned from the Rebbe, and you speak to Him about what you have understood and how you feel about it right now, you are being honest with Hashem and honest with yourself.
The reason we have such a difficult time getting out of the darkness which surrounds us is because we are not being true and honest with ourselves. We are trying to convince ourselves that we are something that we are not. If we knew our true place, we would automatically see our way out of the darkness.
The Rebbe’s teachings, when understood properly, help us to understand who we really are, and to approach Hashem in honest prayer. Through this we will automatically find Hashem.
Trying to connect with the Tzaddik seems imaginary, we are here alone, lost in the world where is the Rebbe? How do we hold on to him?
We connect to the Tzaddik through studying his teachings, which are as alive and relevant today as they were when they were first taught more than two centuries ago. Real Breslover Chassidim can testify that the Rebbe’s teachings serve as a daily, constant source of inspiration and guidance much more than a living Tzaddik may provide.
It seems that when I think I am connected I am actually feeding my ego?
There is no ego in being connected- only a feeling of having a real guide who is advising us and directing us in how to find Hashem in our lives, which will bring us satisfaction, happiness, and lighten up everything in our lives.
It’s a feeling of knowing that through his teachings, the Rebbe is taking care of us and guaranteeing that we achieve our Tikkun, our spiritual rectification, together with his promise that he will take care of whatever has to be done.