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Dvar Torah for Parshat EmorBased on Likutey MoHaran, Lesson #2
If you've read anything by Rebbe Nachman or anything based on his teachings (including, I hope, these dvar Torahs!) then you know that it's a basic tenet of Breslov thought that to be the best Jew you can possibly be you have to pray as much as you can. However, what do you do when days, weeks, months or even years have passed by and still.... You don't see any progress. None. Zero. You're still so far. The same things that caught your fancy when you were young catch it now. The same petty annoyances still get you riled up. You're as far away from Hashem (God) as ever. Is Hashem listening? Or has He turned His back on you? Will He continue to ignore you forever? Perish the thought! Don't make the mistake of thinking that God doesn't hear your prayers, whether the three "official" ones or your "extra" efforts, like Tehilim (Psalms) or hisbodedus (private, secluded prayer in your own words). You better believe He hears every word! He pays close attention to every word of every prayer, request and thanks that passes your lips. Not a single word gets lost. It's just that... There's not enough of them yet. Each word has its effect and its impact, both of which are positive. But it takes time for them to all add up and reach a "critical mass" that will have the desired effect. Not necessarily the immediate focus of your prayers, but something much greater, much grander, much more permanent. What is it? The binyan dikedushah (structure of holiness) into which you must enter. The Third Beit HaMikdash (Temple) and the Temple within you. It, they, will get built. And you will enter. If. If you don't let yourself be fooled and discouraged to the point of despair. No matter what. Come what may. Overcome yourself and the distractions. Strengthen yourself and exert yourself for another tefilah (prayer). Again and again, more and more. Then. Then. All those millions and millions of tefilot, those infinite words of begging, beseeching, seeking, thanking, hoping and yearning will arouse God's fullest compassion and He will turn to face you, and grant your desire, drawing you close with mercy and love. But how?! How can we continue to reach in a little deeper into our souls to come up with another prayer when we look back at all those forlorn tefilot that seem to have been for naught? We have to remember that in the desert as well no Jew was able to assemble the pieces of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) except for Moshe Rabbeinu (our teacher). Though we ourselves may lack the necessary expertise to construct an all-encompassing awareness of God by means of our prayers, when we associate ourselves with those genuine tzaddikim who can, then our tefilot, become part of that structure. This knowledge, that our efforts do and will bear fruit, encourages us to pray, pray again. But when that structure is finished, when the geulah (redemption) finally comes, don't think you're being rewarded for your efforts. Oh, no. Why should you be? Where do you think all your mitzvot and tefilot came from? From you? Not exactly. All the good things we do are a gift, courtesy of the Creator. As the midrash teaches about the verse (Job 41:3), "Who preceded Me that I should reward him?" Who made a mezuzah for Me before I gave him a house (Vayikra Rabbah 27:2)? Who gave you the wherewithal to perform even the slightest mitzvah? So even when you are saved on occasion, or feel your efforts are being rewarded, don't fool yourself and think, "I did it." Because it's all Hashem's doing and if it weren't for His great kindness each of us would have drowned in the Sea of Troubles long, long ago. God save us.
agutn Shabbos!
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