Dvar Torah for Parshat VaYetze

One should never remove himself from the community.
When rebuking those who have not rectified the ñsins of youth,î include yourself among them so that your words will be accepted.

ñYaakov said to [the shepherds], ïBrothers, where are you from?Í...He said to them, ïThereÍs still plenty of time in the day. ItÍs too early to roundup the livestock. Water the sheep and go pastureÍ...Yaakov kissed Rachel....î
(Genesis 29:4, 7, 11)

When Yaakov Avinu kissed Rachel the shepherds were indignant. ñEver since the Deluge we have been careful to be modest and this person is trying to lower our standard of decency!î When Yaakov Avinu realized that he had done wrong, he cried.
(Bereishis Rabbah 70:12)

Rebuke is a two-way street„sometimes you have to give it and sometimes you have to take it. Both can be difficult and unpleasant.

Close to 2,000 years ago our Sages wondered if there was anyone who know how to properly give or take rebuke (Erkhin 16b). Rebbe Nachman noted that the wonder was even greater in our own era (Likutey Moharan II, 8:1). Nonetheless, we have the responsibility to offer and accept rebuke. Being part of a community allows us to fulfill both of these responsibilities.

Reb Noson writes that part of the way Hashem (God) acts toward us is to alternate periods of ñlightî and periods of ñdarknessî (Likutey Halakhot, Geviyat Chov MiYetomim 5:3). This is true in regard to both the individual and the community. Of course we try, and hope, that our mitzvot and derekh eretz (decorum) will take place in the ñlight,î when HashemÍs favor shines on us. Yet, even in the light there may be shadow and we may act incorrectly. Certainly in a period of ñdarknessî we are prone to make mistakes.

When we make them (as we most surely will), being part of a community, allowing others to speak to us„ without the fear that they will be judged for their shortcomings in response (Erkhin ibid.)„keeps us from becoming repeat offenders and from veering further off course. Feeling comfortable enough to correct someone else makes it possible for us to return the favor.

Yaakov Avinu had just left the Holy Land after 14 years of intensive Torah study. He had just had a prophecy on Mount Zion, the holiest place in the world. He was now coming to a live in a place whose inhabitants were wicked (Rashi on Genesis 25:20). How did Yaakov Avinu address the shepherds (certainly not societyÍs elite)? The first thing Yaakov Avinu did was to call them ñbrothersî; he immediately showed that he was part of the community. With that he was able to shine on them his light of honest work.

They, in return, were able to shine their light upon him by expressing repugnance to an inappropriate public display of affection. Even though Yaakov Avinu was in his rights to kiss his cousin (Bereishis Rabbah 70:12; this is not permitted today), because he had wrongly breached the communityÍs standards Yaakov Avinu wept. By including themselves in their rebuke it was accepted.

agutn Shabbos!
Shabbat Shalom!