Dvar Torah for Parshat Vayera
Based on Likutey Halakhot, Ishut 4:19
God appeared to [Avraham] in Mamre's orchard as [Avraham] sat by
the entrance of the tent, in the heat of the day (Genesis 18:1).
Many times we reach the gate. God has asked something of us,
something big, and we gave Him that something. We've "circumcised"
ourselves, suffered spiritual and emotional pain, given blood and,
uncomfortable as it may be, even separated ourselves from neighbors
and friends unwilling or unable to throw their lot with Him.
Reaching the gate is far from easy in another way as well. God
"appears" to us, allows us to feel His presence, only if we can find
it in "Mamre's orchard." The Hebrew word "mamre" indicates the
continual shifting—the change of identity—that certain details of
our life can and do undergo. What might have worked for me once,
what was a Tree of Life, might now be a Tree of Knowledge of Good
and Evil, something that I need to avoid. If so and to what extent,
is a test of my will and discernment that gets progressively harder.
Even after all that, we're at the gate—but we're not inside. We
"sit"—we wait. We wait not just to relish our accomplishments, but
to absorb the lessons of our struggle. We understand that it was the
confusion and the tortuous having to face and choose again and again
which Tree we really wanted, that got us here.
Seemingly, it shouldn't be any trouble to get in though. We're so
close. But it turns so, so hot. It feels like it's never been so hot
before, ever. Pressures and pleasures get so intense you feel like
quitting, like walking away to find some easier place to be. Don't
leave. Don't retreat. Stay seated.
Stay seated, writes Reb Noson. Stay in the company of tzaddikim and
companions who are also trying to gain entry. How long? For however
long it takes.
"God, You may not be ready to open the door. You may not be
interested in letting me in. But I'm not going away, NO MATTER HOW
LONG I HAVE TO WAIT and suffer the heat. I am not going away."
agutn Shabbos!
Shabbat Shalom!
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