Dvar Torah for Parshat Lekh Lekha

Based on Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom #263-264

"[Abram] moved from there to the mountain east of Beth El and pitched ahalo (his tent)..." (Genesis 12:8).
" [The word] is written ahalah (her tent). First [Abram] would pitch his wife's tent and afterwards his own" (Rashi).

Avraham Avinu (Abraham our Patriarch) was a prophet who knew how to prepare himself to receive God's word. Hashem (God) had told him to leave his native land to go to a special place in order to further his spiritual growth.

Even before he set out on his journey Avraham Avinu was well-known for being a spiritual leader. He realized that residing in the special place to which he was going was not the only goal of being there. Avraham Avinu knew that he had to continue his mission. He had to continue to teach people about Hashem, to try to make them aware of His existence, of His control and His concern for His creations.
 
Yet, despite the responsibility of his mission, despite his desire to reach that special space, despite all his involvement with other people and the respect and acknowledgment they gave him, Avraham Avinu kept his priorities straight and followed (or perhaps, established) the Talmudic dictum: A man is obligated to honor his wife more than he honors himself (Yevamot 62b). Here we have one example of the due honor that he gave to Sarah Imeinu (Sarah our Matriarch). He pitched her tent first.

Rebbe Nachman once commented that the increase of marital discord and divorce was an attack by the forces of evil to destroy young men. By depriving them of domestic harmony in a holy Jewish home they would become easy prey for all sorts of bad influences and could easily squander their entire lives. In contrast, the Rebbe often spoke how important it is to not only honor one's wife, but to hold her in great esteem as well.

How much so can be understood from the fact that the Rebbe once mentioned that in the days of Avraham Avinu the shekhina (Divine Presence) was called "Sarah" (Tzaddik #563). One's wife personifies the Divine Presence in the home! (That's a tall order, ladies! Are you up to the challenge?) The whole aura of the home, the truth of the connection its inhabitants have with God, is dictated and indicated by how the husband treats the wife.

One has to not follow the example of Adam, who was ungrateful for the gift that Eve was (see Genesis 3:12 and Rashi on Genesis 11:5). One has to be like Avraham Avinu who loved that special place, the Land of Israel, the geographical manifestation of the shekhina, with extra love because it was God's gift to him (Rashi on 12:2). A man "leaving his birthplace and his father's home" and beginning his search for a wife in order to set up a new home, has to realize that the waiting and contemplating involved, are meant also to make his ultimate partner even more precious in his eyes (Bereishis Rabbah 39:8).

Rebbe Nachman told husbands to keep in mind how much a woman goes through in bearing and raising children, as well as all the countless inconveniences and difficulties they suffer for the sake of her husband. Even if one's wife is a shrew he shouldn't mistreat her (Likutey MoHaran II, 90). And he reminded them of the Talmud's teaching: "Honor your wives that you may have wealth" (Bava Metzia 59a). Material wealth, spiritual wealth and happiness (Avot 4:1). Amen!

agutn Shabbos!
Shabbat Shalom!