Dvar Torah for Parshat Pinchas

Based on Likutey Halakhot, Hilkhot Birkhat HaShachar 5:87-89

One of the reasons we fast on this Tuesday (17 Tammuz/22 July) is to repent for the sin of the golden calf. (For those who may have forgotten: All suffering that the Jewish people undergo, even nowadays, is in part due to the sin of the golden calf. See Rashi on Exodus 32:34.) The destruction of the Temple is related to the sin of the golden calf. How?

Where there's a will, there's a way. We have all met various challenges in life, faced various sorts of difficulties in accomplishing or acquiring what we wanted. When thinking about our goals in Judaism, about accomplishing what God sent us to this world for, we realize almost immediately that similar difficulties and obstacles stand in our way. A large measure of our success in reaching a particular goal in kedushah (holiness) is not only the having done what was necessary to achieve it, but having wanted to achieve it, despite all the obstacles.

On that 17th of Tammuz long ago our ancestors had their will tested: would they pursue their journey through the desert/life following a leader of their own making (the golden calf) or would they defer to God and continue to follow the teachings of the leader He had assigned, Moshe Rabbeinu (our teacher), despite his absence? Their will failed and they chose the calf, much to their, and our, detriment.

But how could they have failed, and how can their choice be considered a failure, when their motivation was spiritual? The answer to these two questions is one: they didn't have proper hitbodedut. One of the central components of hitbodedut is mishpat (judgement). One is to judge himself for each act that s/he does by asking: Should I be doing this? Was it right for me to have thought/said/done what I did? Asking the question honestly is difficult in and of itself. Answering it honestly is even more difficult! Who, or what, decides? What criterion determines the rightness of a given answer? The answer is: God's will.

So, of course you're asking: How can I know God's will?! Where could I even begin to find it?! We find God's will in the Torah (Likutey MoHaran I, #34:4). There we find answers that are black and white: We must eat matzah at the Seder, we may never eat a ham sandwich; we must observe the Shabbat, we may never commit adultery. What happens, though, when we need to find the answers for the "gray" questions, the ones whose answers are not openly stated? How can we hope to divine God's will in such situations?

Hitbodedut. Because often we find ourselves, our souls, scattered to the "four winds" of desire, depression, pressure and doubt. We find there is no place to run, no place to hide and no person to whom we can turn. We discover that there is no refuge except God Himself and the spark of yearning that still glows within us. We have to use our words of hitbodedut to fan that spark, to keep alive our desire to do God's will. We have to use our hitbodedut to encourage ourselves to keep persevering despite the obstacles. To the extent that we do this we are enabled to see ways out of the darkness and are guided to make those choices which are most in tune with ratzon Hashem (God's will).

At the beginning of Parshat Pinchas we read about the overcoming of the most pernicious form of anti-ratzon Hashem, licentiousness (that was foisted on the Jewish people by Bilaam). As a result the various yom tov (holiday) sacrifices that were offered in the Temple are discussed later in the parsha, because the holidays, celebrations of God's intervention in history, proclaim that everything that happens in life is an expression of Hashem's will.

Have an easy fast. For details call a competent local rabbi.

agutn Shabbos!
Shabbat Shalom!