Dvar Torah for Parshat Balak

Based on Likutey Moharan II, #110 and Likutey Moharan I, #36

Likutey Moharan II, #110:

I [Rebbe Noson] heard that someone asked [Rebbe Nachman] about how freewill works. He answered him simply. "Freewill is in the person's hand in a straightforward manner. If he wants, he does. If he doesn't want, he doesn't do." I wrote this down because it's necessary [to know]. Many people are confounded by this because they have so many habits and mannerisms ingrained in them from their youth. Therefore, it seems to them that they have no freewill, G-d forbid, and that they cannot change their ways. The truth, however, is not so. The fact is that each person has freewill at all times concerning everything. He does what he wants. Understand this well.

Balaam, evildoer that he was, was a very special person. He contained within himself such tremendous potential that he achieved a level of prophecy equal to that of Moshe! (The words MoSheH RaBeiNU have the numerical value of 613, the number of mitzvot in the Torah. This indicates that Moshe was the personification of the Torah. BaLAaM's name, as well, indicates his connection to the Torah: The beit of his name parallels the beit of Breishit, the first letter of the Torah; the lamed parallels the lamed of yisraeL the last letter of the Torah; the ayin has a numerical value of 70, relating to the 70 "faces" of the Torah; and finally, the mem, with a numerical value of 40, relates to the 40 days in which the Torah was given at Sinai.) That being the case, why was Balaam indeed such an evildoer, hell-bent on the destruction of the Jews?

The answer is simple: that is what he chose to do. Balaam did everything in his power to draw upon himself impure energy. He was not forced to play the role of antagonist against the Jewish people.

It is written, "From the mouth of G-d come neither evils nor good" (Lamentations 3:38). G-d wants to give each of us nothing but good. He sends us the undifferentiated Divine light. What happens to that light when we receive it depends on our "vessels," our ability to deal with that light. One who has been fortunate to channel his desire in life into doing that which G-d asks from him, namely faith in Him, observing the mitzvot etc., receives the light as good, as something that is agreeable and beneficial to him.

Sadly, one who has chosen to waste his time, squandering his desire on worthless nonsense or worse, receives the Divine light as something uncomfortable and discomforting. He sees nothing worthwhile in that which is in fact for his eternal good. Only those things which drag him further along the road of disrespect and disregard for the Torah and all that is holy seem good to him.

BUT! "There is no such thing as despair!" One always has freewill. Though one may not be able to do an immediate about face to change his ways, he can slow his descent, perhaps even stop it, and little by little turn his desire into positive action so that he may receive G-d's Divine light only as the pure good that He wants it be.

Shabbat Shalom!