Hold On! Infinitely Kind
Meshivat Nefesh #43
There are times when I get discouraged because it seems as though all of the prayers and work that I’ve put in to draw closer to G-d haven’t borne fruit. Underneath it all, I have a suspicion that my Creator is actually pushing me away…otherwise why does He make it so hard for me?
Rebbe Nachman says: Take a good look at the belief that underlies that kind of thinking. What you’re really saying is that you doubt that G-d is kind. You haven’t seen His kindness expressed in the way that you want, and so you’ve lost faith in His goodness and mercy.
So, first things first, I need to address that underlying belief. If I really do trust in His infinite kindness, the temporary setbacks are a necessary part of the process for me. My Creator waits for me with open arms; the challenges aren’t rejection at all—they’re just part of my journey to Him.
After searching my heart I’ve found
that sometimes I don’t really trust You.
Sometimes I don’t believe that You really love me.
Please help me to clear out my underlying
false beliefs, not only because they’re wrong
but because they ruin my relationship with You.
Help me to see Your love and kindness
at work in my life…in a revealed and sweet way.
(Based on Likutey Moharan II:48)